my 1st meal situation

i'm usually having some oatmeal at work for 1st meal.  we have a water fountain that has hot water so i just dump that into the oatmeal, mix it up and i've got a tasty meal!  this morn there are no spoons around, so i had to use a highlighter to mix up my oatmeal.  it was the best oatmeal that i've had in a long time. 

try to do that shit with a pencil.

the departed

did i mention that i went to the departed this weekend?  if i didn't before, i am now, it was freaking great movie, best i've seen in a long time.

now go fuck yourself!

is rush limbaugh stupid?

i read an article warning people to not beleive rush limbaugh's act to appear stupid.  hmmm, it seemed to be written by someone who was not a fan of rush or his stupidity, but it was kinda weird.  well the whole deal now is that rush claimed the michael j fox was not on his medication for a commercial that he filmed for some democrat senators ad campaigns.  i really have to wonder if anyone cares weather mjf was on or off his medication.  would that really be the worst deception depicted in a political ad campaign?  if it is i'll cut my arms off and you can have them.  i wonder why i have not heard anyone accuse rush of being off his pills.

anyway, enough of that.  i've got more important things to think about, like whats for 2nd meal today.  i'm gonna hit up the food court at the mall, and there is a lot of shit to pick from.

krump dancing vs breakdancing

early yesterday morning the ol dish network gives me a call to tell me that I can get starz for 4 dollars and one penny a month.  good enough, sign me up, it'll be ready in 3 to 5 minutes.

about 4 minutes later i'm watching krump dancing vs breakdancing on one of the new starz channels. if you ever have the chance to see this, definetly watch.

aparently all these dancers are known by their "character" names.  some of them have more than one character name for different styles of dance they go into.

so i'm taking up krump dancing, and i will be known as "backpack".  i will always wear a backpack when i dance, and it will be an important part of my dance.  sometimes i'll pull shit out of my backpack during a dance, sometimes i'll grab something from you and put it in my backpack during my dance.  i'll probably be featured on the next documentary that is made about a challenge between krumpers and breakdancers, so keep your eyes peeled for that one, and remember that name: backpack.

i'm adding a new flavor to the site

well this has gotten to be a pretty stale website recently, or more likely than recently, about the time this website was created.  the best thing about it is that i can can compose these message in my email client (gmail) and send them to the site.  Its pretty sweet but that is not what i'm here to tell you about.

I am quickly becoming on the greatest bloggers in North America and i am proud of that.  right here, this website is approaching 600 posts since its beginning, which was not too long ago.  if i had kept everything on KP since the very first time it resembled a blog, i'd probably have 6 million posts dating back to 1998.  KP would be creeping up on its 10th birthday, and i WOULD be the greatest north american blogger. 

so this post is in honor of the amlmost could have been soon 10th birthday of KP.  From now on I will write about being an awesome blogger, tell you how many posts i have made in the history of KP (but only the stuff that is still here), and brag about how great i am in other areas.  i don't want to give anything away, but i will probably add professional fisherman to the list of things i am a professional at!  watch for more in the future.

so for now, you just sit and think about what it would take to be the greatest blogger in north america.  in 600 more bragging posts i'll be telling you i am the greatest in the hemisphere of the west!  i know you are looking forward to that day!

best quote of october

Scott Adams says:

"I am more touched than a congressional page."

one of the worst ads i've seen in a while

i'm a baaaaad man....  wow thats dumb:

http://m1.2mdn.net/viewad/982522/4-Dice_Testimonial_120x600_a-85.gif

gotta get one of these!

MLS goal of the year

from the MLS Fan Blog

It's time to vote for the MLS goal of the year.

Don't miss Carrey Talley's goal, pretty impressive I must say.

Then watch Dwayne De Resario's goal.  He does have the goal of the year the past 2 years.

After that, you better check out De Rosario's teammate at Houston, Bring Ching and his goal of the year.

I wonder if any of those impress the Red Bulls?  I didn't see a single Red Bull goal on that list of 10 finalists.

yahoo mail

does anyone use yahoo mail anymore?  i don't very often, but everytime i do i wonder what the hell is up with the dude on the bouncing green ball?  WTF is that all about?  Its the image you get while it is logging you in.  am i the only one who has ever wondered about that guy?

C-Murder working on Bismarck?

Thanks to SBT for this one:

http://music.msn.com/music/article.aspx?news=238880

what do students learn?

On the news tonite a group of local 3rd graders (don't remember the grade, but it was elementary school) went back in time, or at least that is what was reported.

I'm pretty sure that having a simple HISTORY lesson does not mean you traveled back in time.  Its been a while but I remember history as being a normal class.  What the hell are kids being taught today? 

Seriously, what?  I am curious.

On the news tonite a group of local 3rd graders (don't remember the grade, but it was elementary school) went back in time, or at least that is what was reported.

I'm pretty sure that having a simple HISTORY lesson does not mean you traveled back in time. Its been a while but I remember history as being a normal class. What the hell are kids being taught today?

Seriously, what? I am curious.

what happened? ouch...

my blogging has seriously declined

My blog was neglected as I was in Denver for a couple of days for work.  too bad huh.  well anyway, here is something that you should check out, something that my friend william got going:

http://thedailyskunk.com

I'm watching you

owen wilson plays for the st. louis cardinals?

I'm fliping thru the channels and stop on the MLB playoffs to see the cardinals vs the mets.  i guess owen wilson is a pitcher for the st louis cardinals.  weird....

Happy Birthday

to everyone who has a birthday today:

Jill

Violent ED

Gravy Dave

Jay and Silent Bob

Aparently a deleted scene from the move when the strike back... funny stuff, make sure you got your speakers on!

A letter to Google

Google, what would I do without you baby?

I'd have to use Yahoo or MSN to search the web
I'd have to go back to my.yahoo for my personalized home page
I'd probably start using bloglines again as my rss reader
I'm not sure what I'd do for my website statistics
I'd probably use Yahoo to serve up ads on some of my websites
I'd have to use some other lame free blog tool to build this website (please give me a chance to upgrade this one to beta.blogger.com, pretty please)
I'd have to use OpenOffice.org for all my word documents and spreadsheets
I'd still be trying to use yahoo groups as an online discussion and newsletter system
I'd probably be using Yahoo's calendar
I'd probably be using msn, yahoo or aol instant messenger
I probably wouldn't have a decent tool to organize photos and scan photos on my desktop
And most of all, I'd be using some shitty webmail or some even shittier microsoft email application for email

don't leave me baby, i just don't know what i'd do,

KP

guess i'm not the only geek around here

You know who you are:  you turned me on to google reader, thanks, it rocks the socks off my old RSS reader!

i expect to hear no more comments whenever there is a mention of World of Warcraft.  and you should probably convince your work buddies the same thing!

http://www.hiveminds.co.uk/node/3139

RIP Team Woody

Since the beggining of time (or about 2 years ago) Team Woody (pictured to the right) has been a dominant force in the world of Tipsy Cup. They've won every major halloween world championship tournament they've entered. They won the d'France bachelor party invitational, and then they beat an all star team from that tournament, all with ease. They've won EVERY tournament they've ever entered. In fact they only losses they've ever been dealt were so late in the night, after so many matches, after winning the world championships, so drunk most of the couldn't even walk strait. It was only then that challengers were able to squeak out a victory in a meaningless exhibition match over Team Woody. I am sad to report that Team Woody will not be together this halloween to defend their world championship.

But don't count Team Woody out, I assure you they will be back, stronger than ever, when you least expect them.

the weekend is almost over

another weekend down.

another week coming up, and a pretty busy one.

i just realized a couple of things:

1. I have probably never gone this long without changing the look of KP.  Am I overdue or is this one a good one to keep around for a while.  I'd really like to be able to upgrade this to beta.blogger.com cause its so nice, but I don't know how that will ever happen.

2. I don't have anything better to write about and thats kinda lame.  other than watching Saw2 tonite, I've had an awfully lazy weekend.  Wait a minute, watcing movies is pretty lazy too, so I guess my whole weekend was lazy.  great.

guess i better go try to get some sleep, gotta work bright an early tomorrow.  well it will be early at least.  sadly the mornings are not so bright anymore.  it won't be long before i'm going to work in complete darkness.  i hate that.

i'm outta this bitch

have a good weekend people!

if your up for a good laugh and have some time

here are 4 articles you should take the time to read.  its from the daily WTF, techie focused stories of humiliating failure and stupidity!  well this is a 4 part series about a company, it keeps getting better and better, and the author is right, if you started with they last one, you would not beleive it was true!  read them in the order they are below.

Enjoy!

http://thedailywtf.com/forums/thread/95273.aspx

http://thedailywtf.com/forums/thread/95506.aspx

http://thedailywtf.com/forums/thread/95733.aspx

http://thedailywtf.com/forums/thread/96006.aspx

who to vote for

A lot of Minnesota political ads have been on TV recently and they are almost all negative ads against the person they are running against.  On almost all of them some of the "negative" things actually sound more like posotive things to me.  This goes both ways, but of course they are accusing each other of the same shit, so who knows what the hell is going on.

Earl Pomeroy has an Ad that is not anti-his opponent, but who runs against those guys in ND anyway, just someone to fill a losing spot anyway, so that doesn't really count.

what if you quit smoking right now

i just stole this from another website, which i'm sure stole it from somewhere else, well anyway, i've seen it before and it maybe helped me quit smoking, so i just thought the rest of you smokers mite be interested:

In 20 minutes your blood pressure will drop back down to normal.
In 8 hours the carbon monoxide (a toxic gas) levels in your blood stream will drop by half, and oxygen levels will return to normal.
In 48 hours your chance of having a heart attack will have decreased. All nicotine will have left your body. Your sense of taste and smell will return to a normal level.
In 72 hours your bronchial tubes will relax, and your energy levels will increase.
In 2 weeks your circulation will increase, and it will continue to improve for the next 10 weeks.
In three to nine months coughs, wheezing and breathing problems will dissipate as your lung capacity improves by 10%.
In 1 year your risk of having a heart attack will have dropped by half.
In 5 years your risk of having a stroke returns to that of a non-smoker.
In 10 years your risk of lung cancer will have returned to that of a non-smoker.
In 15 years your risk of heart attack will have returned to that of a non-smoker.

happy smoking!!

what?

pens kick the shit out of pencils

Ohhh, i read a disturbing review of pencils today.  pencils are good and all, but geez, everyone knows that pens are better than pencils.  Here is that review, along with my replies:

Pencils are very good because they can write on a variety of surfaces. 
 - ya, pens can do this too.  lets see who has an easier time writing a note on your own hand.

You can vary the darkness of your writing by regulating the pressure you exert onto the pencil. 
 - and with the right pen, just as easy

Can you do that with pens?  No. 
 - actually i just proved beyond a shadow of a doubt, yes you can.

Can you do that with markers?  Fuck no.  Can you do that with crayons?  Yes but lets face it.  Crayons suck.  Anything that you use to write with that can be melted sucks. 
 - ok, thats fine, i don't care about those...

Speaking of which, pencils burn.  Lets say you get stranded somewhere and need some heat.  You can write yourself a note to your loved ones before you freeze to death and then burn the pencil you used for a few more minutes of precious time on the earth.
 - ink burns much hotter (and longer) than a lame pencil...

Pencils are rad because you can use them to find out what somebody previously wrote on a notepad if you are involved in a caper or a mystery of sorts.  You just shade the top piece of paper with your pencil and PRESTO! The message appears like magical.
 - maybe you can't do this with a pen, but really once you are out of the 2nd grade, there are way better methods of getting involved in a caper.  dissiapering ink for example, try that shit with a pencil.

Pencils are the shit. 
 - pencils are shitty

I give pencils five out of five boners.
 - then i give you five ink decorated condoms, one more surface a pen can write on that a pencil cannot.

there you have it, proof that pencils are quite not the shit, but pens in fact are.

USBC

I joined the United States Bowling Congress tonite!

what a wonderfull nite!

wouldn't your mom be proud to see you here!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=odTKBAds1YE&eurl=

why did titan poker suspend my account?

http://www.cardplayer.com/poker_news/news_story/1446?class=PokerNews

fucking fucking hell

this is from titan poker, guess thats the end of http://nakedpoker.us

fuck you senators

Due to the recent passing of the Unlawful Gambling Enforcement Act by the United States Senate on September 30, 2006, and its imminent enactment as federal law, we will no longer allow real money gaming activities from United States residents.

We regret to inform you that, consequently, we are closing your gaming account at Titan Poker.

Your balance is available to you. You may access your account and request the withdrawal of such balance, subject to any conditions that might apply, including bonuses received.

online poker

this is from empire poker, a lot of online poker rooms will be following.  if you plan to get into naked poker league, deposit your money now, if you still can.

In light of the new reality about to come into force in the USA with the "Federal Unlawful Gambling Enforcement Act", Empire Online has decided to stop accepting new real-money players from the USA. This will come into effect immediately upon President Bush signing the legislation.

jumpin some rope

I bought my ass a jump rope today, i figured it mite do me good to once in a while do something other than ride bike for a little bit of exercise, and a jump rope seemed like the obvious choice.  i got one with weighted handles.  damn, that is a workout, more than you would probably think.  get one and try, i dare you.  and the weights are only 1/2 pound in each handle.  I'm gonna be sore like a raccoon at a karaoke bar.

and i also saw a hockey fight tonite that ended with both players still on their feet.  i think they got sick of fighting so they just kinda stood there holding each other, and then the refs pulled them apart.  but thats fine with me, i actually like hockey and don't watch it just in hopes of seeing a fight.  when i want to watch a fight, i'll wait for the next UFC event.

not a game, not a puzzle, but weirdly addictive

kinda like the damm line rider, could waste lot of time just playing around....

http://www.florito.net/Wind_generators/applet/index.html

little curly

every day some sick bastard leaves a short and curly on the toilet seat in my office building.  i almost sat right down on that fucker, probably for it to be stuck to my leg for the rest of the day if i had not noticed it before.  god that pisses me off.  so i decided i'm gonna catch the bastard.  i got a cheap camera and and since i'm pretty close to the toilet, a wireless usb hook up so i could monitor the shitter on my computer.  i set it to take a picture once every 15 seconds and i caught the dude that was doing it.  click here to see several pics of this guy in mid poop

you don't know whats terrible

i go out to Grazies tonite, pumped up to get my favorite thing in town, a simple wrap of some sort that uses pizza dough.  the menu is new, i can't find my wrap on the menu, it has been removed and the waitress confirms that.  i'm so depressed now that i don't think i can continue to eat.  i'm going on a hunger strike through the month of october.

fucking hell

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20061002/bs_nm/leisure_partygaming_dc_7

what its like being a professional blogger

I know you are probably surprised by the title of this article.  Professsional blogger?  What?  This is shit, how could this be considered professional?

Years ago while attending NDSU I took an english class.  A lot of it was writing.  We would do this stuff where we'd write for 3 minutes, you were supposed to keep writing, even if you started to write about not knowing what else to write about.  Then we'd trade what we wrote with a partner and read theirs.  One day I wrote about how I hated writing and how I thought I was not a talented writer.  My partner read this and told me that I was a good writer.  It was bizarre.

Fast forward a couple of years and now I'm a professional blogger, which is basically like being a professional writer.  Yes, back to the subject of this shit being professional.  You might think that re-posting links to stupid websites, games or articles can not be considered professional blogging.  Let me tell you something, the life of a professional blogger leaves no room for doubt.  You have to be sure about everything you write, or you risk being labeled as a fake.  Just try it, become a blogger and then tell me that I am wrong.  Blogging is one of the most stressfull jobs on the planet.  Yeah I know that air traffic controllers are usually high up on the list, but thats only because us bloggers said no, don't put us on that list.  It will make those airport guys feel better about themselves.  Its also one of the most dangerous jobs in the world.  I have to keep a full time security team with me 24 hours a day.

I need to retire soon.

allright!

http://media.southparkstudios.com/media/SPinWoW.mov

child molesters and prison sex

http://www.cnn.com/2006/LAW/09/29/inmate.tattoo.ap/index.html


maybe some of these guys deserve the same thing:

http://tinyurl.com/e67y5

goal!

so i'm just hanging out minding my own business when i hear that jenny mcarthy or someone suggests that you put something on your pregnant belly to see if (s)he will kick it off. so i'm told to get something to see if Starblazer O'Callahan will kick it off.



oh yeah, the results: he did kick it, pretty hard, knocked me right between the eyes from about 2 feet away!

well done Starblazer O'Callahan!!!!