my medical advisor is a nascar driver!

i'm sitting here watching a soccer game (dc united vs kansas city wizards). before the game a commercial caught my attention because dale earnheardt jr was in it, and whenever junior is on tv, i'm interested. well it was a winFuel commercial and at the end he says 'i use it and so should you'. i thought to myself: 'fuck yeah, why shouldn't i use it too? i could be just like junior'. but i'm thinking even further. why can't junior be my personal doctor advising me on all kinds of medications and such things? so d.e.j. if you are reading this, give me a call, i need some advise on what kind of hangover blocker pills i should take, maybe some diet pills (i'm slowly turning into a pototo), or even something kinda the opposite of rogaine, i want my hair (at least on my back) to go away. Dale: what should i take???