what did canada do to me?

I was recently (got back last nite) was in torornto for work.  i usually like flying, but the last flight i was on (minneapolis --> fargo) fucked with my head, you know the pressure shit you usually deal with.  i didn't think much of it, but after we landed it didn't really seem to go away.  i felt kinda crappy all nite after that but went on with things figuring it will go away soon enough. 

6am this morn i wake up and feel like my head has been filled up with cement.  some benedryl and a hot shower made me a little more comfortable and then i stayed in bed until 11.  its much better now, but there is still a little bit of cement that now feels like it has dried and is full concrete now. 

This may be a little bit too personal for some people, so be warned, only the brave should read on from here:  i also have not eaten yet today, which isn't a big deal, but earlier today i found myself on this website to see if i had anything to worry about: http://tinyurl.com/y94dgt

Ontario innkeeper laws

this is what was on the door of my inn room.  the punctuation is copied exactly, not my mistakes:

No innkeeper is liable to make good to any guest of his any loss of or injury to goods brought to his inn, not being a horse or other live animal, or any gear appertaining thereto.  or a carrage, to a greater amount than the sum of $40 except:

and then it lists some stuff about stolen property.

i left my horse at the inn all day and had not problems!

weird dream

I had another weird dream, this one was bizzare.

first a little background:  at work i take care of a couple magazine websites that sell adspace on them.  a whole column of ads on the right side of the website.  so in the dream there was a team of about 5 people that were sent to my company, kinda like the bob's in office space, they were change experts.  they all took turns talking to us about weird stuff, like what we though the definition of change what, or what a detour was.  the head lady always played tool music while she was talking, and kinda talked along with the music, it was all very strange, and i didn't know what the real purpose of this whole thing was.

well it turns out that they were just there to help up go thru the change of removing those ads from the website.  a pretty simple task, but we had 5 specialists there to help us thru it.  well at the end of the day, there is a young girl that was there, she asks me if she could just some rest at my place for a couple hours before they had to leave town.  it seemed pretty innocent so i said sure.  well we got to my house, (which it turns out to be the house that mork built, you know up on estevan) and i found out that her intentions were not so much just to rest, and she was good looking so it wasn't so bad.  suddenly a guy showed up with a gun and he was pissed off about something, i don't know what.  the guy was very familiar, might be someone from a tv show or something, but i just can't place him exactly.  thats how the dream ended, we were going to run down to the basement to get away from him.

xbox 360 for $100, WHAT?

amazon will likely be selling 1000 xbox 360's for $100 on thanksgiving day at 11am pacific time, can't beat a deal like that.  I think I'll probably get one, what the hell....

http://www.amazon.com/gp/holiday/cv/homepage/

another weird dream

i was able to remember another dream last nite, and it was a pretty good one, but pretty short.

this dream took place at century high school, which is the high school i graduated from.  in the dream was some sort of upper classman, probably a senior.  i remember several students were getting together near the old locker pit, there were about 6 of them in all, they each had an ipod like music player.  they were all connecting these players to each other and then had somehow plugged them into the wall and had control of the PA system in the school.  they did this to play music for the whole school.  the song sounded kinda like NIN, specifically Gave Up from Fixed.  During the song, when it starts to go crazy, all of the people slammed their music players down on the ground and started pounding on them, as if this was the cause of the sudden change in the song. 

when this happens it is really freaking out a lot of the younger students.  i just remember thinking that they were doing a good job, as if i was the mastermind behind the whole thing (but i don't know that i was, or at least it wasn't part of the dream).  so i walked down the hallway thru many panicing students to my locker.  i open my locker, pour myself a red beer and drop some olives in.  my locker was not used to store books, but it served sole purpose of giving me a cooler for my own beer tap and various accessories (mugs, olives, etc...).  i walked around the school watching people freaking out because of the music. i could only describe it as what a school might look like if there were gunmen running around shooting people.   but it was only the music that was causing such a panic, and i walked around the school sipping on my red beer enjoying it all.

way to go DD

I'm browsing thru my flickr account, trying to decide if i'm going to upgrade my account for the extra bandwidth or not (i probably will), and i got around to viewing the most interesting pictures, the most commented, the most viewed, etc...  The picture below happens to be the most viewed picture of all my pictures.  I don't know why this one gets so many views, but way to go DD!

http://flickr.com/photos/purplestriker/157687185/

i'm rich bitch

i just found out:

You are the 59,029,289 richest person in the world!

no so impressive, but what is impressive is the fact that i am in the top 1% in the world.  all because of this very website you are reading right now!

nightmares

its really been quite a while since i've had any good dreams that i have remembered, but the past couple of nights i had some interesting ones.  not nightmares, that just makes a more interesting title...

a couple days ago i watched this, ali g interview david and victoria beckham.  I don't remember if it was the very same nite, or a couple later that i had this dream.  in the dream i was talking to david beckham, not like an interview but like we were good friends.  i asked him about this interview and about ali g.  i was curious if they ever talked to the guy when he was out of character and becks told me that they did indeed meet with him out of character, and that he was only in character when the camera was recording.  he told me about how the guy prepared to get into character and it was all very interesting, but i don't remember any of the details.

then i think this one was just last nite.  this dream i think took place in the near future.  i don't know if there were no cars anymore, or they were just hard to find, but for some reason i did not have a car, and no one that i knew owned a car anymore.  running was the main form of transportation.  i just remember going with my dad and my uncle bill to valley city.  then we had to get to grand forks quickly, so we took off running.  it was mild winter, the ground was not completely covered with snow, but most was.  for some odd reason we had to be very careful of snakes as we were running to grand forks from valley city.  that's it.....

i'm going to give a conscious effort to try to remember more dreams from now, cause some of them are very interesting.

one great song title

i don't listen to this band a lot, but i've never noticed this song title before.  its one of the best song titles i've seen in a long time!

people = shit

weird world records

this is it, i'm going to get into the guiness book of world records, it seems like you can just make some shit up and get in.  why would anyone ever think of "Most live rattlesnakes held in mouth" as a world record?  well this guy did and he's in the book.

so i just have to think of what i can do to get into the book or world records.  any ideas?

drums and piano

i don't know how to play drums or piano, and i don't know how to do some cool video editing to make something like this happen, but i wish i did:

http://www.zappinternet.com/?video=fodCyoDmiV

DANZIG

I recently downloaded a torrent that was labeled the greatest rock albums of all time. a lot of it was stuff that I've never heard of, most of it is really heavy stuff, not usually the kind of stuff played on the radio. there were some that were a little bit more "easy listening" like metallica, megadeth, anthrax, iron maiden, danzig and a few others.

so i'm listening to a lot of them, right now its Danzig Lucifuge. I had this cd years ago and even had the great chance to see Danzig in concert many years ago. This one definetly deserves to be in the greatest rock albums of all time. I so often forget about Danzig, but damm that guy makes some good music. I don't know much about the Misfits, but I think they ought to be worth checking out if Danzig was involved.

the danzig concert i saw back in 1995 still has to be in a handful of best concerts i've been to. at the time marilyn manson and korn opened for danzig, i had to idea who either of them were, but i was impressed with all 3 of them.

I bet you don't know much about Danzig, and maybe even think the guys not very talented, but I bet you didn't know this: He wrote songs for Johnny Cash. This is one album that any music fan should have in their collection, unless you like country music, then your fucked.

http://www.google.com/musicl?lid=k7PWUAMlqDH&aid=Rz5xoPF5BFE

i love free icons

http://www.aspneticons.com/

what is wrong with small, medium and large?

I demand to know WTF is wrong with small, medium and large.  if you got 3 things that come in 3 different sizes, and you order a medium, do you expect to get the smallest of the 3?  do you expect to get the largest of the 3?  fuck no, you want the medium one.  there is no reason to have medium, large and extra large, fuck that.

and even worse is when you give your sizes other names, and the "tall" is the smallest one.  they might as well name them: lake erie, lake ontario, lake huron, lake michigan and lake superior, but then cause you don't actually have 5 sizes, randomly pull out two of them, so your sizes are actually: erie, ontario, huron.  makes just as much sense, and people would learn something about geography.  i bet most people wouldn't even know where the names came from!

subway does this shit the right way, 6 inches or 12 inches, you don't even have to think about small or large.  pretty freakin easy if you ask me.

thats enough for today!

I Feel Like Crap

I just ran a mile and feel like shit.  It will pass quickly and I'll be just flippin dandy tomorrow morning.
Friday nite I drank a lot and felt like shit Saturday morning.  It passed quickly and by 1pm I was having several pints of the beer of the month at O'Leary's and I was just flippin dandy again.

What do you do to make youself feel like a bloody turd?

i got missle launchers

i had missle launchers installed on the front of my car. I can control the aim if i want, but usually the are fixed strait ahead. when i have my cruise control on, my brake becomes a trigger. i've gotten used to coming to work early, before there is much for traffic on the interstate. it really help get people out of my way that pull onto the interstate doin 40 mph, just a little tap of the brakes, and they are out of my (and everyone else's) way! it really makes driving to work in the morning a little bit more enjoyable!

i just realized that my new car has no name. remember the old mitsubishi was tina fey, this one has no name yet. any suggestions?

run a mile

i went out for a run tonite, i don't time my mile anymore but it seems like i'm either:

A. getting faster

OR

B. going at the same rate but just having less of that "i want to die right now" feeling at the end of it all.

tonite it took me almost exactly prison sex + snot.

boring....

birthday pool

the official starblazer birthday pool, get your comments in soon, comments will close soon:

http://schwartzlive.blogspot.com/2006/11/birthday-pool.html

don't forget....

http://eightandfive.com/2006/11/02/stay-on-target/

a little bit about headphones

well amazon aparently doesn't have one set of headphones that i have, but they do have the nice ones. i was used to a pair of sony headphones that i used all the time. they were a couple notches above other brands in the same price range (~$30). then i got the earbuds pictured below, used them for a long time and really got to like them. now tonite i put the old earphones back on to only now realize how big of a difference they make. wow, if i ever wear those out i might dish out some $$$ to get a nicer pair of sony earbuds if the difference will be this noticable. but yeah, these are awesome earphones, i wouldn't think of anything else for this price:



tomorrow i'll get back to writing something stupid and meaningless, maybe about how i think i set a world record for number of shits taken in a single day. it was a lot, seriously... usually i could say something like "wow i shit 3 times at work today", but this day was different. find all about it tomorrow i guess.....

$100

we must go!

check out the link before too long, and then lets get some tickets!

http://pollstar.com/tour/searchall.pl?By=Venue&Content=BNDFAFT&PSKey=Y&Date=11/09/06

guns n roses - chinese democracy

could it be real, chinese democracy is a real album?  supposedly sebastian bach thinks "its fucking epic".

i think about 5 years ago i had already given up on this album.  but then guns n roses came to fargo and i won tickets, heard some new sounds, and hope was restored.  after that it was quickly lost again and forgotten about.  i suppose in another couple years someone will say something about chinese democracy and we will all wonder again.

http://www.drownedinsound.com/articles/1258736

my 1st meal situation

i'm usually having some oatmeal at work for 1st meal.  we have a water fountain that has hot water so i just dump that into the oatmeal, mix it up and i've got a tasty meal!  this morn there are no spoons around, so i had to use a highlighter to mix up my oatmeal.  it was the best oatmeal that i've had in a long time. 

try to do that shit with a pencil.

the departed

did i mention that i went to the departed this weekend?  if i didn't before, i am now, it was freaking great movie, best i've seen in a long time.

now go fuck yourself!

is rush limbaugh stupid?

i read an article warning people to not beleive rush limbaugh's act to appear stupid.  hmmm, it seemed to be written by someone who was not a fan of rush or his stupidity, but it was kinda weird.  well the whole deal now is that rush claimed the michael j fox was not on his medication for a commercial that he filmed for some democrat senators ad campaigns.  i really have to wonder if anyone cares weather mjf was on or off his medication.  would that really be the worst deception depicted in a political ad campaign?  if it is i'll cut my arms off and you can have them.  i wonder why i have not heard anyone accuse rush of being off his pills.

anyway, enough of that.  i've got more important things to think about, like whats for 2nd meal today.  i'm gonna hit up the food court at the mall, and there is a lot of shit to pick from.

krump dancing vs breakdancing

early yesterday morning the ol dish network gives me a call to tell me that I can get starz for 4 dollars and one penny a month.  good enough, sign me up, it'll be ready in 3 to 5 minutes.

about 4 minutes later i'm watching krump dancing vs breakdancing on one of the new starz channels. if you ever have the chance to see this, definetly watch.

aparently all these dancers are known by their "character" names.  some of them have more than one character name for different styles of dance they go into.

so i'm taking up krump dancing, and i will be known as "backpack".  i will always wear a backpack when i dance, and it will be an important part of my dance.  sometimes i'll pull shit out of my backpack during a dance, sometimes i'll grab something from you and put it in my backpack during my dance.  i'll probably be featured on the next documentary that is made about a challenge between krumpers and breakdancers, so keep your eyes peeled for that one, and remember that name: backpack.

i'm adding a new flavor to the site

well this has gotten to be a pretty stale website recently, or more likely than recently, about the time this website was created.  the best thing about it is that i can can compose these message in my email client (gmail) and send them to the site.  Its pretty sweet but that is not what i'm here to tell you about.

I am quickly becoming on the greatest bloggers in North America and i am proud of that.  right here, this website is approaching 600 posts since its beginning, which was not too long ago.  if i had kept everything on KP since the very first time it resembled a blog, i'd probably have 6 million posts dating back to 1998.  KP would be creeping up on its 10th birthday, and i WOULD be the greatest north american blogger. 

so this post is in honor of the amlmost could have been soon 10th birthday of KP.  From now on I will write about being an awesome blogger, tell you how many posts i have made in the history of KP (but only the stuff that is still here), and brag about how great i am in other areas.  i don't want to give anything away, but i will probably add professional fisherman to the list of things i am a professional at!  watch for more in the future.

so for now, you just sit and think about what it would take to be the greatest blogger in north america.  in 600 more bragging posts i'll be telling you i am the greatest in the hemisphere of the west!  i know you are looking forward to that day!

best quote of october

Scott Adams says:

"I am more touched than a congressional page."

one of the worst ads i've seen in a while

i'm a baaaaad man....  wow thats dumb:

http://m1.2mdn.net/viewad/982522/4-Dice_Testimonial_120x600_a-85.gif

gotta get one of these!

MLS goal of the year

from the MLS Fan Blog

It's time to vote for the MLS goal of the year.

Don't miss Carrey Talley's goal, pretty impressive I must say.

Then watch Dwayne De Resario's goal.  He does have the goal of the year the past 2 years.

After that, you better check out De Rosario's teammate at Houston, Bring Ching and his goal of the year.

I wonder if any of those impress the Red Bulls?  I didn't see a single Red Bull goal on that list of 10 finalists.

yahoo mail

does anyone use yahoo mail anymore?  i don't very often, but everytime i do i wonder what the hell is up with the dude on the bouncing green ball?  WTF is that all about?  Its the image you get while it is logging you in.  am i the only one who has ever wondered about that guy?

C-Murder working on Bismarck?

Thanks to SBT for this one:

http://music.msn.com/music/article.aspx?news=238880

what do students learn?

On the news tonite a group of local 3rd graders (don't remember the grade, but it was elementary school) went back in time, or at least that is what was reported.

I'm pretty sure that having a simple HISTORY lesson does not mean you traveled back in time.  Its been a while but I remember history as being a normal class.  What the hell are kids being taught today? 

Seriously, what?  I am curious.

On the news tonite a group of local 3rd graders (don't remember the grade, but it was elementary school) went back in time, or at least that is what was reported.

I'm pretty sure that having a simple HISTORY lesson does not mean you traveled back in time. Its been a while but I remember history as being a normal class. What the hell are kids being taught today?

Seriously, what? I am curious.

what happened? ouch...

my blogging has seriously declined

My blog was neglected as I was in Denver for a couple of days for work.  too bad huh.  well anyway, here is something that you should check out, something that my friend william got going:

http://thedailyskunk.com

I'm watching you

owen wilson plays for the st. louis cardinals?

I'm fliping thru the channels and stop on the MLB playoffs to see the cardinals vs the mets.  i guess owen wilson is a pitcher for the st louis cardinals.  weird....

Happy Birthday

to everyone who has a birthday today:

Jill

Violent ED

Gravy Dave

Jay and Silent Bob

Aparently a deleted scene from the move when the strike back... funny stuff, make sure you got your speakers on!

A letter to Google

Google, what would I do without you baby?

I'd have to use Yahoo or MSN to search the web
I'd have to go back to my.yahoo for my personalized home page
I'd probably start using bloglines again as my rss reader
I'm not sure what I'd do for my website statistics
I'd probably use Yahoo to serve up ads on some of my websites
I'd have to use some other lame free blog tool to build this website (please give me a chance to upgrade this one to beta.blogger.com, pretty please)
I'd have to use OpenOffice.org for all my word documents and spreadsheets
I'd still be trying to use yahoo groups as an online discussion and newsletter system
I'd probably be using Yahoo's calendar
I'd probably be using msn, yahoo or aol instant messenger
I probably wouldn't have a decent tool to organize photos and scan photos on my desktop
And most of all, I'd be using some shitty webmail or some even shittier microsoft email application for email

don't leave me baby, i just don't know what i'd do,

KP

guess i'm not the only geek around here

You know who you are:  you turned me on to google reader, thanks, it rocks the socks off my old RSS reader!

i expect to hear no more comments whenever there is a mention of World of Warcraft.  and you should probably convince your work buddies the same thing!

http://www.hiveminds.co.uk/node/3139

RIP Team Woody

Since the beggining of time (or about 2 years ago) Team Woody (pictured to the right) has been a dominant force in the world of Tipsy Cup. They've won every major halloween world championship tournament they've entered. They won the d'France bachelor party invitational, and then they beat an all star team from that tournament, all with ease. They've won EVERY tournament they've ever entered. In fact they only losses they've ever been dealt were so late in the night, after so many matches, after winning the world championships, so drunk most of the couldn't even walk strait. It was only then that challengers were able to squeak out a victory in a meaningless exhibition match over Team Woody. I am sad to report that Team Woody will not be together this halloween to defend their world championship.

But don't count Team Woody out, I assure you they will be back, stronger than ever, when you least expect them.

the weekend is almost over

another weekend down.

another week coming up, and a pretty busy one.

i just realized a couple of things:

1. I have probably never gone this long without changing the look of KP.  Am I overdue or is this one a good one to keep around for a while.  I'd really like to be able to upgrade this to beta.blogger.com cause its so nice, but I don't know how that will ever happen.

2. I don't have anything better to write about and thats kinda lame.  other than watching Saw2 tonite, I've had an awfully lazy weekend.  Wait a minute, watcing movies is pretty lazy too, so I guess my whole weekend was lazy.  great.

guess i better go try to get some sleep, gotta work bright an early tomorrow.  well it will be early at least.  sadly the mornings are not so bright anymore.  it won't be long before i'm going to work in complete darkness.  i hate that.

i'm outta this bitch

have a good weekend people!

if your up for a good laugh and have some time

here are 4 articles you should take the time to read.  its from the daily WTF, techie focused stories of humiliating failure and stupidity!  well this is a 4 part series about a company, it keeps getting better and better, and the author is right, if you started with they last one, you would not beleive it was true!  read them in the order they are below.

Enjoy!

http://thedailywtf.com/forums/thread/95273.aspx

http://thedailywtf.com/forums/thread/95506.aspx

http://thedailywtf.com/forums/thread/95733.aspx

http://thedailywtf.com/forums/thread/96006.aspx

who to vote for

A lot of Minnesota political ads have been on TV recently and they are almost all negative ads against the person they are running against.  On almost all of them some of the "negative" things actually sound more like posotive things to me.  This goes both ways, but of course they are accusing each other of the same shit, so who knows what the hell is going on.

Earl Pomeroy has an Ad that is not anti-his opponent, but who runs against those guys in ND anyway, just someone to fill a losing spot anyway, so that doesn't really count.

what if you quit smoking right now

i just stole this from another website, which i'm sure stole it from somewhere else, well anyway, i've seen it before and it maybe helped me quit smoking, so i just thought the rest of you smokers mite be interested:

In 20 minutes your blood pressure will drop back down to normal.
In 8 hours the carbon monoxide (a toxic gas) levels in your blood stream will drop by half, and oxygen levels will return to normal.
In 48 hours your chance of having a heart attack will have decreased. All nicotine will have left your body. Your sense of taste and smell will return to a normal level.
In 72 hours your bronchial tubes will relax, and your energy levels will increase.
In 2 weeks your circulation will increase, and it will continue to improve for the next 10 weeks.
In three to nine months coughs, wheezing and breathing problems will dissipate as your lung capacity improves by 10%.
In 1 year your risk of having a heart attack will have dropped by half.
In 5 years your risk of having a stroke returns to that of a non-smoker.
In 10 years your risk of lung cancer will have returned to that of a non-smoker.
In 15 years your risk of heart attack will have returned to that of a non-smoker.

happy smoking!!

what?

pens kick the shit out of pencils

Ohhh, i read a disturbing review of pencils today.  pencils are good and all, but geez, everyone knows that pens are better than pencils.  Here is that review, along with my replies:

Pencils are very good because they can write on a variety of surfaces. 
 - ya, pens can do this too.  lets see who has an easier time writing a note on your own hand.

You can vary the darkness of your writing by regulating the pressure you exert onto the pencil. 
 - and with the right pen, just as easy

Can you do that with pens?  No. 
 - actually i just proved beyond a shadow of a doubt, yes you can.

Can you do that with markers?  Fuck no.  Can you do that with crayons?  Yes but lets face it.  Crayons suck.  Anything that you use to write with that can be melted sucks. 
 - ok, thats fine, i don't care about those...

Speaking of which, pencils burn.  Lets say you get stranded somewhere and need some heat.  You can write yourself a note to your loved ones before you freeze to death and then burn the pencil you used for a few more minutes of precious time on the earth.
 - ink burns much hotter (and longer) than a lame pencil...

Pencils are rad because you can use them to find out what somebody previously wrote on a notepad if you are involved in a caper or a mystery of sorts.  You just shade the top piece of paper with your pencil and PRESTO! The message appears like magical.
 - maybe you can't do this with a pen, but really once you are out of the 2nd grade, there are way better methods of getting involved in a caper.  dissiapering ink for example, try that shit with a pencil.

Pencils are the shit. 
 - pencils are shitty

I give pencils five out of five boners.
 - then i give you five ink decorated condoms, one more surface a pen can write on that a pencil cannot.

there you have it, proof that pencils are quite not the shit, but pens in fact are.

USBC

I joined the United States Bowling Congress tonite!

what a wonderfull nite!

wouldn't your mom be proud to see you here!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=odTKBAds1YE&eurl=

why did titan poker suspend my account?

http://www.cardplayer.com/poker_news/news_story/1446?class=PokerNews

fucking fucking hell

this is from titan poker, guess thats the end of http://nakedpoker.us

fuck you senators

Due to the recent passing of the Unlawful Gambling Enforcement Act by the United States Senate on September 30, 2006, and its imminent enactment as federal law, we will no longer allow real money gaming activities from United States residents.

We regret to inform you that, consequently, we are closing your gaming account at Titan Poker.

Your balance is available to you. You may access your account and request the withdrawal of such balance, subject to any conditions that might apply, including bonuses received.

online poker

this is from empire poker, a lot of online poker rooms will be following.  if you plan to get into naked poker league, deposit your money now, if you still can.

In light of the new reality about to come into force in the USA with the "Federal Unlawful Gambling Enforcement Act", Empire Online has decided to stop accepting new real-money players from the USA. This will come into effect immediately upon President Bush signing the legislation.

jumpin some rope

I bought my ass a jump rope today, i figured it mite do me good to once in a while do something other than ride bike for a little bit of exercise, and a jump rope seemed like the obvious choice.  i got one with weighted handles.  damn, that is a workout, more than you would probably think.  get one and try, i dare you.  and the weights are only 1/2 pound in each handle.  I'm gonna be sore like a raccoon at a karaoke bar.

and i also saw a hockey fight tonite that ended with both players still on their feet.  i think they got sick of fighting so they just kinda stood there holding each other, and then the refs pulled them apart.  but thats fine with me, i actually like hockey and don't watch it just in hopes of seeing a fight.  when i want to watch a fight, i'll wait for the next UFC event.

not a game, not a puzzle, but weirdly addictive

kinda like the damm line rider, could waste lot of time just playing around....

http://www.florito.net/Wind_generators/applet/index.html

little curly

every day some sick bastard leaves a short and curly on the toilet seat in my office building.  i almost sat right down on that fucker, probably for it to be stuck to my leg for the rest of the day if i had not noticed it before.  god that pisses me off.  so i decided i'm gonna catch the bastard.  i got a cheap camera and and since i'm pretty close to the toilet, a wireless usb hook up so i could monitor the shitter on my computer.  i set it to take a picture once every 15 seconds and i caught the dude that was doing it.  click here to see several pics of this guy in mid poop

you don't know whats terrible

i go out to Grazies tonite, pumped up to get my favorite thing in town, a simple wrap of some sort that uses pizza dough.  the menu is new, i can't find my wrap on the menu, it has been removed and the waitress confirms that.  i'm so depressed now that i don't think i can continue to eat.  i'm going on a hunger strike through the month of october.

fucking hell

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20061002/bs_nm/leisure_partygaming_dc_7

what its like being a professional blogger

I know you are probably surprised by the title of this article.  Professsional blogger?  What?  This is shit, how could this be considered professional?

Years ago while attending NDSU I took an english class.  A lot of it was writing.  We would do this stuff where we'd write for 3 minutes, you were supposed to keep writing, even if you started to write about not knowing what else to write about.  Then we'd trade what we wrote with a partner and read theirs.  One day I wrote about how I hated writing and how I thought I was not a talented writer.  My partner read this and told me that I was a good writer.  It was bizarre.

Fast forward a couple of years and now I'm a professional blogger, which is basically like being a professional writer.  Yes, back to the subject of this shit being professional.  You might think that re-posting links to stupid websites, games or articles can not be considered professional blogging.  Let me tell you something, the life of a professional blogger leaves no room for doubt.  You have to be sure about everything you write, or you risk being labeled as a fake.  Just try it, become a blogger and then tell me that I am wrong.  Blogging is one of the most stressfull jobs on the planet.  Yeah I know that air traffic controllers are usually high up on the list, but thats only because us bloggers said no, don't put us on that list.  It will make those airport guys feel better about themselves.  Its also one of the most dangerous jobs in the world.  I have to keep a full time security team with me 24 hours a day.

I need to retire soon.

allright!

http://media.southparkstudios.com/media/SPinWoW.mov

child molesters and prison sex

http://www.cnn.com/2006/LAW/09/29/inmate.tattoo.ap/index.html


maybe some of these guys deserve the same thing:

http://tinyurl.com/e67y5

goal!

so i'm just hanging out minding my own business when i hear that jenny mcarthy or someone suggests that you put something on your pregnant belly to see if (s)he will kick it off. so i'm told to get something to see if Starblazer O'Callahan will kick it off.



oh yeah, the results: he did kick it, pretty hard, knocked me right between the eyes from about 2 feet away!

well done Starblazer O'Callahan!!!!

toys in the attic

assume this hypothetical situation is your own:

you buy a house, live there for over a year, then you go into your attic for the first time.  in the attic is a brief case full of cash, and i mean lots of cash, probably enough to pay off the rest of your house payment!

what would you do with that cash?

Watch "Peta BULLSHIT!" on Google Video

i thought only americans were this stupid:

http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=52189

i've got a weird feeling

that all doctors drink coffee.  i went to the hospital this morning, every doctor i saw was drinking coffee.  i come home tonite, jill is watching greay's anatomy, doctors drinking coffee, then i watch ER, and its more damm doctors drinking coffee.  i do now beleive that you have to drink coffee if you are a doctor, but NOT that if you drink coffee you are a doctor.

can anyone confirm or disprove my theory here?

strange funeral wishes

is it weird to ever think about what you want your own funeral to be like?  if you answer yes then you'll probabably think this is really weird.

i sometimes hear a song and thing that it would be a good song to be played at my funeral.  so i'm riding bike earlier tonite with my headphones on.  A song came on and i thought this would be perfect for my funeral music.  A disco ball drops from the ceiling and we get Bjorn Turoque on air guitar with Leann Rimes in a devil costume lip synching Midnight Oil's Beds Are Burning from the Best of MTV Unplugged.  All of this is happening while my corpse is actually burning on a bed, at midnight on a saturday night.

weird thing is i really would like this to be how my funeral goes down....

one other random thought before i go to bed: how many times will it still be funny when conan o'brian comes out says what a great show they are going to have, says something stupid, and then says goodnite or something to signify that the show is over right then and there?  i bet that shit will still make people laugh 10 years from now when he's still doing it.

more line rider

this little guy is quite addictive and i still don't know why. well i finally got him to do this flip, check it out:

worm attack

trainspotting is on flix so i don't have time to write about how these fucking worms are gonna kill me before i turn 30......

line rider

this is really cool, and i don't know why.  i just wasted an hour playing with it, and you will too if your not busy!

http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/40255643/

another day - another picture

well this one isn't very interesting at all, its a picture of part of my bedroom in bismarck, this was probably taken sometime in high school or during the BSC years.

home depot is into marijuana!!

so a digg article says the home page of home depot has a marijuana leaf blowing across an image. then some people say that this is inaccurate. i don't know, check it out for yourself. they sure look alike to me. here is a picture of a marijuana leaf, and then a screen capture of the home depot page. you be the judge: (click on the images to enlarge them)

snakebutt

because i was involved in a game recently, i thought i'd put up a link to the official snakebutt rules.  its a wiki so you have the opportunity to edit the rules if i've missed anything.  i put this up a while ago and have not done anything with it since then. 

http://snakebutt.wetpaint.com/

wetpaint is a pretty nice site, you can also find the home of the ultimate p experience on wetpaint:  http://ultimatep.wetpaint.com

sexy

thats the only way this picture can be described:

i asked for your toe pictures

but that was after i already had 2 of them.

i know this isn't a toe, but it makes those earlier toe pictures look pretty comfortable. at least its still a foot thing, way to got Brigitte, good luck with that!

what browswer are you using right now?

http://www.techweb.com/wire/security/193004128

pictue a day: bismarck bajae vs brandon

this picture was taken the summer of 1995, and was one of my favorite soccer games, both becuase of the result and because it was one of my best games. we were in Brandon for a tournament. our first game was vs this brandon team. it was one of the roughest and worst officiated games i'd ever played in. they beat us 2-0, and i'm not blaming any of that on bad officiating, we deserved to lose that game. as usual we cruised past the rest of our games, won our semi-final match pretty handily and met this brandon team in the final! revenge!

I don't remeber exactly how the goals came, but i think we were up for most, if not all of the game. i suppose it was sometime in the 2nd half, browning gets a red card and give up a PK all in one shot. we were probably tied or up by 1 at the time. mund comes in to replace him in goal and saves the PK.

close to the end of the game i made a run up the middle of the field with the ball until i was fouled about 25 yards out. all in one motion i stopped the ball with my hand and as i was getting back up spotted a wide open oarman on the right wing, hit it to him and he probably needed only 1 touch to beat the keeper for the game winning goal. it was one of my proudest goals and i wasn't even the one to score it.

the ref had done a pretty good job, but for some reason added an insane amount of stoppage time, waiting for his home town boys to tie up the game on the bismarck team with 10 on the field. it must have been close to 10 minutes extra, but finally he gave up and stopped the game, we were champions of brandon! I finished that game with 2 goals and 2 assists, we won 5-4!

if only every picture of the day had such an interesting story. well okay, its fun for me to tell but mite be quite boring for you guys. sorry, but damm i miss playing...

i survived

and i fully recommend Dr. Preisler at Face & Jaw Surgery.

First he told me that he doesn't like his patients to waste their money and that I would be wasting my money if I took the full anestesia and was put to sleep. I was hesitant but he offered laughing gas and promised me it would be quick, 2 seconds he said. I eventually accepted his offer of laughing gas and staying awake.

After I was numb, he came in and did something and then was done. I asked him if he really took the tooth out. I thought he was kidding about it taking 2 seconds. It was by far the easiest thing i've ever had to be numbed for. 100 X better than getting a simple cavity filled. of course it sucks right now, having blood for first meal, but what can you do about that?

if i don't make it back.....

yes, wisdom tooth to come out, complete with IV and puttin my ass to sleep.

if i don't wake up, i'll miss you, the faithful KP readers.  i'll miss you very much. 

i shouldn't say shit like that i guess.

i mite not sleep tonite.  needles and that sort of stuff just make me nervous.  i guess its the price i have to pay, for being such a freakishly talented (blogger) writer, rite?!?!?!  i used to say that my bad fish allergy was to make up for the phenomenal skills on the soccer pitch, but now those skills have slowly faded away (or is it just my physical form), but that fucking fish allergy sticks around.  that is not what i think of as something that qualifies as fair.

well wish me luck.  i suppose most of you will be reading this after i'm done, and hopefully on my way home for first meal (ice chips), or back at home and in bed, dreaming about football and elizabeth shue.

as maynard would say:

peace the fuck out

the picture a day is back

well at least its back for one day, but i'll try to keep it up. i have a box full of pictures. its a small box...

message to kaptain kaos

kaptain,

I just had an email returned to me with the reason that this user is inactive or there is no such user.  So I don't know if I have your correct email address....

I saw TOOL in Minneapolis on Saturday nite.  It was amazing, one of the best concerts I've been to if not THE best.  I see on their schedule they are going to be playing in Chicago tonite.  I heard you made the move out to Chicago.  I hope all is well out there, and let me tell you, it would be much better if you do happen to see this concert.

i'm sick and tired of time discrimination

This weekend I had heard enough, and I'm sick of time discrimination when it comes to naming your meals.  you know what they are, the B word, the L word and the S (some say D) word.  well we've had enough of that shit.  they are all meals from now on.  1st meal, 2nd meal, 3rd meal, etc....

let everyone you know about this, its time we stop the discrimination.

intelligent design rocks

interesting show:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-967128149563430244&q=penn+and+teller+bullshit

and you can find links to most of the episodes here:

http://bullshitlinks.blogspot.com/

i am without job!

i just got home and i have no job. my desk has been cleaned out and i said goodbye. it is a very different feeling than i had almost a year and a half ago when i left my last job. that day was a celebration. it was also worrysome of the unknown future for me. i was very sad to leave that place, i had worked for the same company for almost 8 years. i did not want that day to end, i didn't want to make that final walk out of that office, even though i was not alone, i think we all went out and celebrated, and then probably had a poker party at my place that nite. i knew i would still hang out with those that stayed in the office behind me.

today was a lot different. i was anxious to get out of the office, even though i will miss it. the most contact i'll have with these former co-workers will probably be in WoW. Maybe there are a couple that I'l see once in a while. i will miss the people i was working with this morning. i will even miss the work i was doing. but today the future is not quite as much of an unknown as it was when i came to this job 17 months ago. then i didn't know if i was going to be able to do a good job. now i am confident that i will have no problem doing a good job.

anyway, for those of you that know, i'll be joining up with the westrac crew again after this next week. even tho one of you just left the westrac crew, it'll still be cool to be back there. hey, lets meet at wendy's in 10 minutes!

want to buy a piece of SHIT?

people are even crazier than i originally thought:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20060830/od_afp/afpentertainmentusarts_060830212453

online game league?

how much fun would it be to start an online game league with KP readers and friends?

anyway, just thought it would be fun, and here are the games i thought of. i think warcraft and starcraft would be the best choices. anyone???

this could drive you crazy

its the most addictive simple game i've seen in a long time.

http://wiredpope.com/sticks.html

good stuff

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYO-4Aw9WmI

nfl season

today was the first full day of the regular season and i just have 2 questions:

1. why did i hear someone say that one play may have saved seattle's season.  1 game and their season could have been ruined?  that sounds crazy.

2. when teams sit around in the locker room eating soup, is that before or after the game?

stump the schwab

i'm watching stump the schwab and they had a soccer category!

1 point:
in the 2006 world cup, eventual champions won all of their games except one.  who was the only team they did not beat.

2 points:
in the 2002 world cup, the US advanced to the 2nd round, and won one game there to get into the quarterfinals.  who did they beat?

3 points:
in 1974 and 1978 the netherlands lost in the world cup final to the host country each time.  name the countries they lost to each of those years.

all pretty easy!

earlier in the game there was a tie breaker between 2 guys.  the question: in some year 199X the san diego padres set a record by using the most pitchers throughout the year, how many pitchers did they use.  one guy guess 24, the other guy guess 482.  482 pitchers in one year, even 482 players in one year is kinda crazy.  wow!

and i was shocked, the contestant got all the soccer questions right.  he said his answer for #2 was a total guess, but he seemed to know the answer to #3 pretty quick, and it was an american dude.

do you know the answers, without cheating?  i did!

bust it

bust a move neal!

day of the dentist

today is the day and i've only got 2 official guesses on the number of teeth that i'll have fucked up and needing work.  i do have to say they seem kinda low, but the last time it was such a high number it had been at least 6 years since i'd seen a dentist.

the only guesses are 4 and 5 so far.  go back a couples posts and leave you guess in a comment.  comments will be closed later this afternoon!

violence

on the pitch:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FysgdTXu6U

so stupid its hard to beleive its real

listen to this crazy 911 call

the dentist looks pissed off

i guess it was probably 2 years ago that i posted and asked for predictions on how many cavities i would have on an upcoming visit to the dentist.  if i remember correctly my sister won that content with a pretty high number. 

well its that time again.  next week on tuesday i go in to the dentist for the first time this year.  leave a comment with your official guess on how many it will be this time!  winner again gets a kidpurple.com t-shirt!!!