almost went to the ER

its so damm cold out today that my skull cracked just form walking out into the cold.  just like you would expect a fragile glass vase to crack if you took it on an adventure of extreme temperature changes.  i almost fell in the middle of the street, surely to make it my frozen grave, but i survived, because the crazy was immediately frozen shut.  i'm never going outside in february again!

oragami world championships

so most of you know that i am an oragami grand master wizard of the highest rank.  i've never been crowned world oragami champion (due to the scoring scandal of 2001), but i think this might be my year.  have a look at some of my latest work here: http://www11.ocn.ne.jp/~origami/phototop.htm

you probably won't be able to read any of the text, but just start hitting the links in the middle of the page and you'll see some of my stuff!

new monitor

here is a screenshot with my new monitor, open it up full size just really appreciate how big this sucker is!!



edited: somehow this image got sized down, i don't know why, but you can still see how much stuff i have open there, i can fit a lot one screen!

movie of the year

Don't continue reading if you want to watch the movie, there are spoilers here.....
Just like heaven has to be the movie of the year. In this exciting and oh so funny love story Reese Witherspoon plays a doctor who has not time for a love life. Her sister hooks her up with a blind date. On the way to this date she's fun over by an 18 wheeler and sent into a come. now comes in mark ruffalo, he's looking for an apartment to rent and ends up renting her apartment on a month to month lease. It turns out that mark can see and talk to the ghost or the spirit of reese, but no one else can. at first they only get on each others' nerves, but when a sexy neighbor shows up and has the hots for mark, it becomes aparent that mark and reese's ghost are in love. her ghost thinks she's still alive, and together they figure out that her body is stuck in the hospital she used to work at, in a coma. totally unpredictably his love for her brings her strait out of the coma, but she doesn't remeber him when she wakes up. that is only until he gives her his apartment key back, the touch of his hand flashes her memory and she sees it all in a split second, they kiss and credits roll! wow, thats awesome!!!!

Re:

some of these won't make a lot of sense unless you know that this is one of those emails that keeps getting forwarded around. well i got this one from SBT, so here are my responses:

1. Sleep with or without clothes on?
only sleeping pants usually

2. Flannel sheets or silk sheets?
do i have or would i like better? don't have either, would like flannel better

3. Dress up on Halloween?
i do almost every year, some of my recent costumes: junior from reno 911, part of woody harrelson's career (white men can't jump), neal beckler robbing a liquor store...

4. Like to travel?
anything thats gets me out of wintery hell is good!

5. Like someone?
i like almost everyone i know

6. Do they know?
they do now!

7. Who sleeps with you every night?
jill

8. Think you're attractive?
i'm the most attractive dude on my block, but outside of that block i won't say much.

9. Want to get married? When?
Already am, december 2002

10. Who do you want to marry?
today it happens to be Jamie Sale

11. Are you a good student?
i used to be, probably a pretty crappy student now

12. Are you currently happy?
yeah

13. Have you ever cheated on school work?
yes

14. Birthplace?
bismarck ND

15. Christmas or Halloween?
if this question started with "which is your favorite:" i'd say halloween.  if it started "which comes first alphabetically: " i'd say christmas, if it started "which comes first in the calendar year: " i'd say halloween

16. Colored or black-and-white photo?
Colored (I think, what is this asking? What kind of photos I like better?), i'll just leave SBT's answser here!

17. Do long distance relationships work?
Some do, some don't just like all relationships (again i'll leave SBT's answer)

18. Do you believe in astrology?
I believe in their entertainment value; beyond that, not really (one more time SBT's answer is the same as mine, we're on a roll here.)

19. Do you believe in love at first sight?
I would look back to number 10 and say yes, and i've only seen her on tv.

20. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
both! what???

21. Do you consider yourself the life of the party?
depends on the party, at some parties i do, at some i don't.

22. Do you drink?
do you breathe?

23. Do you make fun of people?
yeah, but i try to limit my fun making to people who don't deserve it!

24. Do you think dreams eventually come true?
it would be a really fucked up world if some of my dreams came true

25. Favorite fictional characters?
Snake Plissken

26. Go to the movies or rent?
Rent

27. Have you ever moved?
several times, i love it!

28. Do you have a best friend?
i have many great freinds, it would be hard to pick a best friend

29. How's the weather right now?
Freaking FRIGID!!!(same as SBT again on this one)

30. How many screen names do you actually use?
i don't have time to sit and think of how many i use right now....

31. What time is it?
11:31am

32. Last time you showered?
last nite

33. Loud or Soft Music?
LOUD

34. McDonalds or Burger King?
some days mcD's, some days its BK

35. Night or day?
night

36. Number of Pillows?
1

37. Piano or guitar?
i don't play either.  if i could play one it would be piano.  i know more people that guitar.

38. Future job?
monday night football announcer

39. Current hate? winter (specifically freezing cold air and ice roads)

40. Current love?
the olymipcs

41. Current longing?
a six pack of high life and a group of people around the poker table

42. Current disappointment?
that there are 7 hours before #41 will be my reality

43. Current annoyance?
the fact that i keep forgetting to not wear something warmer to work

44. Last thing you ate?
little caesars slice of pizza

45. Last thing you bought? coffee maker for jill for valentine's day yesterday

46. Most recent thing you are looking forward to?
poker

47. What are you hearing right now? Q98, Nirvana

48. what are your plans for the weekend?
uncertain, no plans set in stone yet.

49. What did you do today?
came to work, worked, slacked, worked, started wrtiting this, went to little c's, continued writing this.

50. A piece of advice?
play em hard or don't play em at all...

guesstures

one crazy nite of guesstures without getting naked is a good nite.

one crazy nite of guesstures without a win is not so good.

change is goooood

wow, a new look to the site, again.  it never seems to stay the same for long.  click on the google ads above if you see something interesting, it really does make me money!  i'm gonna get rid of the stale blogroll and links on the right and replace it with something cool, but i'll probably procrastinate a long time on that and end up not getting anything else done here ever again...

i'm gonna be in minneapolis this weekend if any KP readers are out there, give me a call!  we're gonna rip it up in brooklyn center on saturday nite!

right here right now

there is no other place i want to be...

these are the lyrics i hear, i'm listening to jesus jones in the basement in the dark and i thought to myself "there are many places i'd rather be".  so i'm going to finish writing this, stand up, and move to a new location.  i feel terrible that i haven't written much here recently, nothing at all this week actually.  well i don't feel bad at all, i was just kidding.  i'm not a write and i make no money doing this, but it is satisfying as hell!  ok, i'm making shit up again, its hardly even satisfying.

well anyway, i'm just wasting time while scrubs downloads.  i was getting around to thinking about the crap that i like to read when i'm online and there are some cool blogs that i usually check out.  one of them is by a good friend and i'd love to share it with you but there is a problem.  the problem is myspace.  i don't want to have to log in to read your shit.  damm....  myspace is cool, ya ya, you can show off how many "friends" you have, wow.  c'mon, you've got some interesting stuff that i like to read.

the only advantage of myspace is that it gives you control over who gets to read your blog, although you are limited to the set of people that you know that are willing to create a myspace account and actually log in to read it.  so i know the person i'm talking about is reading this (or will be, or has already), so i ask:  why not ditch myspace, create a free blog ( http://www.blogger.com/ or http://wordpress.com/ or http://www.livejournal.com/) and let the world enjoy it!  i use blogger for this site!

olympics and a beard!

uh oh, its gonna be a busy couple of weeks:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10792454/

coming soon: beard watch.

i'm attempting to grow a beard for the april 28th wedding.  i've never done this before and i'm pretty sure that i'll look really goofy with a beard, if i am even able to grow something decent.  so i'll post some pictures soon i think.  that should be mildly entertaining for you!

ubuntu

I've never had an easier time installing an operating system as i just did install ubuntu earlier tonite! for those of you that don't know, ubuntu is one distribution of linux which has gained popularity recently. its much easier to install than windows, but doing stuff like installing applications could be a little bit easier. getting a new version of firefox was not the easiest thing in the world to do but now i'm using it to write this post.

i would be willing to bet that any normal computer user would have an easier time installing ubuntu linux and getting a browser to work than doing the same with any version of windows.



I like it, maybe a step closer to ditching windows on most of my computers.

a website for the ultimate p

i doubt know many people that would think this is cool, but i know at least one for sure:

http://www.elektronikforumet.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=9097&highlight=

i made it

today was the day i thought i was going to kill a computer and smash a keyboard.  I made it thru!

meanwhile back at paradise island:  saied and some stranger are building a machine shop, so they can start production of "saied knows snow" snowblowers before the gruesome winter kicks in.  sawyer is rehabing a terrible shoulder injury that is threatening he fish throwing job down at the fish market (the one by the beach). Its a good thing katie (the con) is there to help, she taught herself all about physical therapy during her time spent in women's high max security prison.  The same shoulder injury almost spoiled her daring excape.  lock is training to become the worlds toughest street fighter, and luckily enough charlie agreed to be his sparring partner.  wait, charlie, if we're sparring, your supposed to put up some defence.  and quit running off with that baby (baby being said in an aussie accent) charlie (same accent).  And during all of this no one (except the always curious sawyer) is wondering why the dude from party of five and the hot chic from resident evil keep going into the jungle.

i guess next week (actually tomorrow!) i'll just stare at the ceiling for 45 minutes and call it even.

smashed computer

i'm sure most of you have seen the viedo of the dude in his cubicle who started beating his keyboard, then uses it as a bat against his monitor until he hits his monitor off his desk.  or the way the printer got abused in office space.  i'm really working hard to hold back from such actions against my computer this morning.

Stinger

What is Sting talking about?  Is he going to stay and wrestle in TNA?

How can this be, he dropped his bat in the middle of the ring and said goodbye, then just left........

I've signed it.....

http://www.johnkerry.com/action/filibuster/

getting new glasses?

this would be really weird, but kinda fun at the same time:

http://www.physlink.com/Education/AskExperts/ae353.cfm

a website i can get behind

one day it became obvious to me that the metrostars are not a team to be a fan of, so i decided i was gonna be an anti-fan. i bought NYMetroStars.com a long time ago and had not done much with it till now. Let me know what you think. (click the image above)

my new toothbrush doubles as a vibrator

recently I got a new toothbrush, its one of those that you see commercial for that have the spikes that move back and forth.  It a cheap crest jobby or something like that, i dont remember exactly what it is, but i'll figure it out and post a link.  so anyway, i'm pretty sure that this toothbrush could be turned around and used as a vibrator.  i recemmend you try and leave a crest toothbrush as a vibrator review here!

The Ultimate P Experience

People come and go.

Websites come and go.

But before now the world has not seen anything like this.

Dedicated to the man, the myth, the leged......

He Is.......  The Ultimate P Experience

http://theultimatepexperience.com

edited: i know this looks suspiciously like another website you may have seen. just remember i'm no artist.

critique my lame resume website

I spent some of this evening build a little resume website for myself.  Part of the goal was to just use Drupal and become familiar with it, part of it was just cause it'll be nice to have a resume website that will hopefully collect some content over the months.  I wanted something more than hi, here's my resume, please hire me :)

So anyway, check it out at http://danschwartz.us and let me know what you think.  If you think it really sucks, let me know cause I'll want to make appropriate changes if that is the case.

how to beat lance armstrong

tonite i was riding my bike, listening to some music.  the best of mtv unplugged is not really pump you up to keep peddling like a maniac music, but thats what i was listening to anyway.  so then suddenly sheryl crow comes on singing are you strong enough to be my man, and for some odd reason the image of me racing lance armstrong came to mind.  i don't have any weird secret desire for sheryl crow or anything, just thogut it was kinda weird. 

oh yeah, i did win that race!

oh funny shit

http://tinyurl.com/9bw5z

http://tinyurl.com/auy6s

where do i order mine?

http://tinyurl.com/avdm7

shit just makes me laugh out loud (LOL you dumb real talk fucks)

proof that the internet is a wonderful place

i bet she never meant for anyone else to see this:

http://www.youtube.com/?v=pSGi1s8X5Lc

I-C-E-B-E-R-G whats that spell?

oh my god, why does this person have to be from fargo?  i don't understand why some people think they should be able to tell others what we should or shouldn't listen to, but i love it at the same time!  It always starts to echo the ice-t song freedom of speech (just watch what you say).

http://news.yahoo.com/s/usatoday/20060112/cm_usatoday/tuneoutsternsfilthysatelliteshow

i hope someone makes it

http://gc.advancedmn.com/article.php?artid=5883

playin poker with mechanics

i hate taking my car (or anyone elses car) in to have an oil change.  I just know those bastards are gonna call me with a list of other shit they "recommend" be done to it.  today they guy calls, and its gonna be close to $100 more.  i felt like i was comtemplating a call in a poker game.  hmmmm, ok, he's representing a bad transmission fluid and something else, and in my hand i've got no clue.  okay, i call.  and the shitty thing is i never get to see him revel his hand, i don't know if that was a big bluff or not.

that also reminds me of being at the fuckin dentist....  i'm due for that soon again.......

big slick & LazyLarry

last night I'm in the mood for some big multi-table no limit texas hold em action.  so i fire up my favorite poker room pokerstars.  perfect, theres a $10 multi-table game starting in about 20 minutes, so i regiester and play a ring game to pass time.  The tournament starts and action is slow in the beginning, but i double up a couple times and i make it into the top 300 (over 1500 people started and i've been playing for over 2 hours).  for a while i'm the big chip leader at my table, but that eventaully gets knocked down, and i'm closer to small stack.  this is when things start to go the wrong way now.  he phone is ringing right as i get dealt big slick.  i make i decent raise and get re-raised, i call.  Its my dad on the phone, talking about coming to stay at our house later this week.  The flop comes 8 8 4.  he bets, i raise big, he re-raises, i'm talking to LazyLarry and thinking about this stupid hand.  ok, i eventually go all in, and he calls.  now my measley AK is up against this guy with an 87.  after the turn i'm dead, its a 6, and the river is a 5, so he even made a strait.  great.

several hours later i'm playing a multi-table at pacific poker.  i'm not doing very well and not too far into this one when the following all goes down.  I get dealt big slick at the same time LazyLarry pops up on google talk to ask me how i'm doing.  so i come over the top of the first raiser and go all in with my big slick.  this guy calls me and i got him beat, but of course he improves his hand and i don't.

i told LazyLarry to never bother me when i'm playing again.  I didn't care so much about the 2nd one, but that first one was frustrating.

dreaming weird shit

its been a while since i've written about a dream that i had and if you've missed them, its your lucky day!

at the very beginning this dream i'm hanging out with two KP readers (jon and onree) out on some type of farm house.  jon was washing dishes or doing some type of kitchen work while me and onree relaxed on the couch.  we were waiting for people to start showing up, cause we were having a party that nite.  (I guess the 3 of us must have lived together there)  So living out in the country we didn't see much traffic.  It seemed weird when a big yellow and purple full size van was coming slowly down the road, until i noticed 2 cheerleaders running alongside the van in the ditch.  But then it was more normal, "The cheerleaders are going by" I told the other 2 guys.  Jon ran to the window enthusiastically to see.  Go get them we told the frenchman.  So onree reluctantly ran out the door to chase down these cheerleaders. 
A couple minutes later he comes back with about 8 hot blonde cheerleaders.  They are all excited about something and all gathering around the piano.

Now it starts to get weird.  suddenly everything seems to be happening as if it has all happened before, if not regularly.  The cheerleaders start to play "No Sleep Till Brooklyn" on the paino and make onree sing.  The more he sings the more excited they are, and eventually they are all topless.  During the song i get up to take a piss, so i go to the bathroom.  Its becoming a strangely long piss, because the song finishes and i'm still going.  one of the cheerleaders comes in a rubs up against my back as i'm pissing for a minute, then she leaves and i'm still going.  then a topless jeff bashus (how are you jeff?  still live in denver?) comes into the bathroom to see what i'm doing.  he explains that the cheerleaders are gone and the bugs have started showing up.  its right at that point that i notice and quickly flick a spider off my schlong.  then i'm done and its just a normal thing that we have an infestation of insects in our house after the cheerleaders leave.  lots of big beetles crawling around all over the place.

thats what i call a weird dream.

i haven't seen brokeback mountain yet

cause i rarely get to the theatre's, but that has nothing to do with this story.

so i'm browsing thru my.yahoo headlines this morn and i come across "GLAAD Mad at Shalit's "Brokeback" Breakdown".  It has tweaked my interest so read it, to find out that GLADD stands for gay and lesbian alliance against defamation.  i also discovered that gay does not mean happy.  So aparently the goofiest lookin movie critic gave the movie a bad review and called one of the characters a sexual predator, and that pisses off GLAAD.

It makes my day when i group of people get all uptight about something like a movie, or one person's lame review of a movie, or just something that should not effect the life of anyone not involved more than 2 hours of entertainment.  God, why do some people have to be so damm gay? Its just a fuckin movie and the opinions of some fag from the today show.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/eo/20060107/en_movies_eo/18098

and don't flame me for this shit, i love gay people. i don't have any issues with your sexual preference.  my brother fucks paririe dogs and i still love him.

poor dutch bastards

now this is just funny, i think i'd be wanting to switch armies too. 

but then again i do hate it when a bunch of drunk englishmen show up at my campfire.  and most of the spainards i know actually drive around with minivans full of dutch beer.  but most of them are willing to share so i don't complain!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060106/od_nm/dutch_soldiers_dc

slacker

I've been a real slacker on this recently.  what a shame. i have no excuse for myself, except for guild wars.  i just keep playing and playing, its so much fun.  I was gonna get civ 4 or call of duty 2, but i thought shit, that'll take away from my guild wars time.  i am already behind the rest of my guild, level-wise.  Yeah, we got a guild, we are the FMCrusaders!  don't fuck with the FMCrusaders.  I think i could retire from the software development industry and play guild wars for a living.  really, that would be great.  they have a world championship of guild wars that i hope the FMCrusaders are able to compete in some day.

so the next time you see me, smell my hair.  but before you do, try to imagine what it will smell like.  then see how close your imagined smell is to the real deal.  whoever's is the closest can bag it all up and take it home the next time i get a buzz (which may be really soon?)!!

104.7

what the hell happened to the damm rock station?

who do i look like?

according to this I look like Mikhail Tal, he was an old school chess champion. click the image below to take the test yourself.



The rest of the list they thought I looked like:
William McKinley (yeah, the president)
Erico Fermi
John Malkovich
Art Garfunkel
Howard Hawks
Michael Douglas
Tarja Turunen
Christina Aguilera
Imre Kertesz

wow, what a list. they must not have emilio esteves in their database??

rough draft of my news years resolutions

• i will not join any cults this year
• i will not move again this year (i hate moving)
  
• i will not enroll in any college courses (2 years in a row if successful!!)
• i will try to listen to more good music and less bad music (iTunes party shuffle to blame for this one)
• i will grow a full beard before sometime in august
• and last but not least, i will never lose, at anything, all year long!
  

it sure is getting stale around here

isn't it?

happy new year everyone.

watch for some good stuff in 06!

warning

time goes by very slowly when you just sit and stare at the clock.  don't do it, unless you really enjoy staring at clocks.

evil santa?

something about this picture looks kinda evil. you know who that is?

crap

its so cold out that my teeth hurt.

works almost made me crazy today.

i'm need to make a new guild wars character, and when i do, he'll get to level 5 before i want a new one again....

i made a new character, a monk/necromancer.  should have stuck with a warrior maybe?

fuck - i guess i'm just having a bad day.  i better go to bed....

the random quotebook is dying

c'mon people, help out the random quotebook, its slowly dying.  i forget to update this damm thing.  if you'd like to post directly to it yourself, let me know and i'll send you an invitation to become an author, otherwise just remind me once in a while when you hear something worthy...  or maybe it'll just die off a slow miserable death?

forklift safety

this video get pretty funny once you get about half way thru it.  its worth the wait, trust me!

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5943582546148919558&q=forklift

looks like a nice october day in ND

Papa Johns has some lazy servers

here is part of screenshot from an email that i got today from papa john's. i've been known to write a jsp once in a while and i do have to say that that is one lazy ass server if it needs to take 7 hours a day off. makes me wonder if i should ever order online from them again.

i've highlighted the important part of the email for all you lazy bitches that can't read all the way thru.

WTF

?

my cards are broken

I am going to start a support group for c-murder and josh called my cards are broken.  cause the lose at poker.  actually the support group is mostly just for c-murder....

cool flash animation

kinda low tech, but very cool!
http://img40.exs.cx/img40/28/feuerfreimovie.swf

my name is hammy

if you haven't had a chance to check out the new tom green cd, i highly recommend that you do as soon as possible. it is well worth your time, unless you are more important than i am, they maybe its not, or unless you don't like tom green, then its maybe not. check it out especially if you like the OR (and that means you thoele)!

i eat a lot of ham.

papa smurf can i lick your ass?

here is something to get a chuckle at this boring monday nite.

http://www.funnyjunk.com/pages/smurf.htm

new email!!!

well its about that time of the year again, time to change up the ol email address.  some of you may have noticed that i changed up my google talk username, and that is the new email address!  i breifly thought about ditching gmail to go back to yahoo, but changed my mind pretty quick.  gmail is just too damm nice!  so anyway, change up your address books, the new address is dj.schwartz.

chased by ninjas

Yesterday I went out for some snow biking with Josh at Goosebury park.  Just as we are starting to head down the path on our bikes a car pulls up and 2 ninja's get out and start running down the path behind us.  There were 2 other people up at the car that were not following the ninjas.  af first i figured they were just taking off from the other 2, but they were catching up to us and i really stated to think they were chasing us.  we picked up the pace a little bit and eventually got away from them.  it was weird.....

the REAL world cup draw

the real draw was not much better than my random draw for the ol USofA.  my predictions to advance to the 2nd round in bold.  I figured out the average raking of the group acoriding to current fifa rankings, this is the first number in parenthesis.  The USA's group has the toughest group according to this.  I figured many groups have one team that is highly outmatched so i figued the average ranking of the top 3 team, and again the USA's group has the toughest group.  According to those number group F is the next toughest, but I think group C is the 2nd toughest, and also the group that many people will think is the group of death, but in my mind, the group of death is definetly the one with Italy, USA and the Czech Republic.  According to the numbers group G is the weakest, but I think group H probably is the weakest group of them all.

Group E is potentially trouble for the US if they get out of the group and into the 2nd round. The winner of the group will play 2nd place from brazil's group (assuming brazil wins it) that would be croatia, australia or japan, but 2nd place would play brazil right away. So whatever happens, i hope USA finished in the same position that Brazil does!



Group A: (24.25 - 20)
1. Gernamy (16)
2. Costa Rica (21)
3. Poland (23)
4. Ecuador (37)

Group B: (26 - 17.66)
1. England (9)
2. Paraguay (30)
3. Trinidad & Tobago (51)
4. Sweden (14)

Group C: (23.75 - 16)
1. Argentina (4)
2. Ivory Coast (41)
3. Serbia & Montenegro (47)
4. Netherlands (3)

Group D: (24.5 - 12)
1. Mexico (7)
2. Iran (19)
3. Angola (62)
4. Portugal (10)

Group E: (18 - 7.33)
1. Italy (12)
2. Ghana (50)
3. USA (8)
4. Czech Republic (2)

Group F: (21.25 - 12)
1. Brazil (1)
2. Croatia (20)
3. Australia (49)
4. Japan (15)

Group G: (31.5 - 23.33)
1. France (5)
2. Switzerland (36)
3. South Korea (29)
4. Togo (56)

Group H: (26.5 - 22)
1. Spain (6)
2. Ukraine (40)
3. Tunisia (28)
4. Saudi Arabia (32)

world cup draw

here's my random draw.  I hope it doesn't turn out like this, that definetly has the US in the "Group Of Death".  The draw should be happening very shortly, i'll post here to show how close my own random draw was to the real thing!

Group A:
1. Gernamy
2. Angola
3. Ukraine
4. Trinidad & Tobago

Group B:
1. England
2. Ghana
3. Czech Republic
4. South Korea

Group C:
1. Spain
2. Tunisia
3. Sweden
4. Japan

Group D:
1. Italy
2. Paraguay
3. Switzerland
4. Saudi Arabia

Group E:
1. France
2. Ivory Coast
3. Croatia
4. Costa Rica

Group F:
1. Brazil
2. Australia
3. Netherlands
4. United States

Group G:
1. Argentina
2. Ecuador
3. Poland
4. Iran

Group H:
1. Mexico
2. Togo
3. Portugal
4. Serbia & Montenegro

alexander

Alexander
I watched this movie last nite and it changed my life forever. How would you figured this long movie was able to change my life forever?

dirty dirty oprah

the smoking gun has some good stuff, they also have some stupid stuff.  well here is an article, about a letter written to the fcc about one episode of oprah from a few years ago.  okay, whatever, i don't care about what oprah is talking about on tv, she deserves the same level of freedom of speech as howard stern does, but the best part of this is if you read the actuall message sent to the fcc, notice the name of the group that this person is a part of.

that is wonderfull!  is it real?

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0504044oprah1.html?link=rssfeed

ya got a fuckin bullet in your head

i'm just inspired by rage against the machine tonite.

does this whole website have more of a pupose a than asking a cod what he thinks of london?

your brain dead.... ya got a fuckin bullet in your head!

the schwartz total body system

i happened to click on one of the most read articles of the day on my yahoo to read about the no diet-diet.  it brings me one step closer to beleiving that people are just fucking retarted in this country.  hey, what do you know, eating only when you actually get hungry and not overeating will help you lose weight or keep it off, holy fucking shit batman, why didn't we think of this before. 

here is the article: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20051204/ap_on_he_me/fit_intuitive_eating

SO, i figure i'd let you in on a new revolutionary weight loss program, the schwartz total body system.  of course you don't get all the details without paying for the full dvd set, but here's just a little preview for you.  in order to lose weight: get off your fat ass and run, don't stop running until you throw up.  then you stop and take a look at the shit that you just threw up, for about 40 seconds, then start running again.  rinse and repeat.  good luck.  if you happen to live in fargo/moorhead, ice skating down the middle of main street is an acceptable replacement for running in the schwartz total body system. 

to order the whole dvd set of the schwartz total body system, email me.  really, its quite cheap.

ps - spelling like shite doesn't make someone stupid, does it?

snoop dogg is a kc chiefs fan?

today is an important day, the kansas city chiefs play the denver broncos.  i plan on getting together with neal for this game cause he's a big broncos fan, and you should know who i like.  well i had a dream about this last nite.  i was at a party where everyone had some type of either broncos of chiefs gear on, except for me.  i was gonna be embarassed if neal showed up with broncos colors and i had nothing to show.  snoop dogg was at this party, complete with a trent green jersey.  i begged him to give me his jersey, but he was not interested in party with any of his chiefs gear.  the end.

GO CHIEFS!!!

what the fuck

why would you want to look at that shit, you sicko.  i was not serious......

Game On

Tribes has been a fun game since the first one. I've had all of them, up to but not including this one. I have played the demo and I will have this one eventually!


Worms is another game that has had many years of fun spanning many different game versions. World Party is the one I frequent today!


Rise of Nations de-throned Age of Empires 2 as the RTS of choice a while ago. Its a combo of aoe and command and conquer, great stuff!


Starcraft was the original RTS (well if you don't count warcraft). I think aoe is probably the only game i spent more time playing. if you computer isn't quite up to date, starcraft should be fine on it!


Guild Wars replaced World of Warcraft for me recently. It maybe isn't quite as good a game as Wow, but there are no monthly fees! That will save you $170/year. I just sith i knew more people that played, come on, join our guild.


Unreal Tournament 2004 used to be the FPS of choice, after replacing quake on the list. Tribes is fighting for that spot right now, but they are both very good games.


Command & Conquer: Generals is a very fun military type RTS. it is a top 5 RTS game, but overall, not as good as RON.


I wish i could put battlefield 2 on the list, but yet i don't have it. these are gonna be only games that i'll have on my laptop and will be ready to play if you get it and get online!

sprint - unlimited

someone is tryin to find out if sprint's advertised unlimited text messages really is unlimited.  check out his website here, and send him a message!

http://www.livejournal.com/users/mydecree/4491.html

They are not in heaven, since they fuck the wives of Ely

Do you remember in the movie the doors when they were going to play "Light My Fire" on a tv show and Jim Morrison was told not to say the word "higher"?  that would seem pretty silly in the world we are living in today i would think, but then i heard something on the radio that makes me think i'll never turn on a radio again (oh fuck, the radio is still on, scratch that).  It started to make me think about how a simple word doesn't stir up a mess, but the meaning behind it does.  well at least in certain cases.  "high" is not a vulgar word worthy of censorship, but thats whay i heard bleeped out this morning.

I know that me writing this here for all 5 of you that read this isn't going to change anything, its just something that i find to be rather stupid, and i've got some time to kill this morn.  So how many different way would it be acceptable to say: (on radio or tv) "Charger fucks bitches like its his fucking mission"

"We got busted getting high in the back of my friends van"

i started to think about the history of words: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fuck

simple uTorrent setup

(i'm having trouble uploading my images rite now, they'll be here eventually. let me know if i need to make any corrections here.)

This is my simple guide to downloading movies, tv shows, music, or whatever you want with bittorrent. I recently dumped the blue from and started using uTorrent, so thats what i use for this guide. Its fairly simple, just follow the next several steps and you'll be downloading in no time.

step 1. prepare you hard drvie: first go into "My Computer" onto your main drive (probably C:). there you want to create 2 new directories (right click --> new --> folder). make one called "torrents-temp" and ome called "torrents-complete".

step 2: download uTorrent from http://www.utorrent.com/download.php. I would create a directory like C:\Program Files\utorrent and save the file into that directory. This is important because you don't want to save the file to a place (like your desktop) where it mite eassily get deleted. The file you download is the whole program, not a file that installs the program and then is trashed.

step 3: after downloading, find utorrent.exe and double click it. it will ask you 2 things to start, say yes to both of them. first it will put shorcuts in the start menu and on your desktop to start utorrent, then it will make utorrent be the default bittorrent program. after this you should have the main screen just waiting for your next action.

step 4: change some of the settings. to get to the setting click Options --> Preferences. there are really only 2 screens you'll have to change any settings on, i have screen shot of my settings below:

utorrent1

utorrent2

step 5: start searching for what you want to download. in the upper right hand corner of the window there is a search box. click on the magnifying glass to see that you can search different engines. for now leave it on the first one in the list, thats what the rest of this guide will use. later you can experiment searching the others. the process is very similar for those others as well. then type in the box what you want to search for and hit return

utorrent3

step 6: when you submit the search it will open a browser with your search results

utorrent4

there are several important things to notice on this screen. first, if you determine one of the results is something you'd like to download, the name of it is a link to a details page. look at the size of the file, if you have a slow connection its gonna take a long time to download a 4GB DVD file. The Seeds is the number of people who have the whole file that you could download it from, the higher the better. The leachers is the number of people curently downloading the file which is probably not important to you.

click on the name if you want to download, this will take you to the details page. here you just have to click the name again.

utorrent 5

this should open a window asking you if you want to open the torrent or save it. you should be able to open and you want to select uTorrent to open it with.



now you should see the following screen with one line for each torrent that is downloading. the torrents usually start out really slow but pick up speed as they go so don't worry if its really slow to start. once a torrent is done downloading you can highlight it and click stop. then you can find the files in C:\torrents-complete. you can move the files from there and do whatever you want with them.

good luck!

carzy fuckin camels

how many times would have this been usefull?  i could have saved myself from many embarassing situations if i had read this about 10 years ago.

http://www.popularmechanics.com/science/worst_case_scenario/1289271.html

these granola bars are no good

they are hard as if they've been sitting on the shelf for 2 years, the this hot chocolate is waaaay to hot.  Thats all i can think about yet this morning....

here is some great shit that should take you mind off anything at all: http://www.petsinuniform.com/  funky shit i do have to say.

shit, i forgot

i was playin poker at poker stars
and i mad a pretty nice hand, 4 Jacks (2 in my hand) and i think i must have been up against a full house.  I took a screen shot of it, but then by the time i quit playing, i forgot about the screenshot.  dammit.

power goin out?

aparently we are supposed to be conserving enerygy tonite, or moorhead is going to lose power.  i guess i better shut this shit down, hope we don't lose power here.....

my personal email policy

i think i'm gonna switch up my email address at the beginning of every new year! i'll be able to eassily tell what year i've gotten the most email, it'll be fun. I wish I had been doing this for the past 10 years. well i'm waiting to be able to use the new Yahoo mail beta, but have no invitation yet. my other option now is to use a new gmail address:

which should it be
	yahoo!
	new gmail
	other (leave in comment)
Free polls from Pollhost.com

long way back from hell

Danzig fueled my pedaling spree tonite. furthest distance yet, well done Danzig. Did you know that Glann Danzig himself turned down the role of wolverine in the first X-Men movie before whats-his-nuts took the role? theres a bit of Danzig trivia for ya, enjoy!

blizzard test

ahh lovely moorhead weather, i wish i was in costa rica. click on the image to play a video...

more guild wars

Onree created a guild and we got our capes! this is the design that he made. i'm too tired to play much more, i hate this game anyway.....

traveling on ice

i guess its pretty icy out.  it took about an hour to drive about 30 miles this afternoon.  at one point i was picturing a wal-mart truck falling over and squishing us while track #7 on this album played on the stereo.  I thought it was all over, I thought I wasn't going to get to say goodbye to all you loyal KP readers.  I saw it all happening in slow motion.  the walmart truck spins out of control just as i'm passing him.  it starts to jack knife in the road and then suddenly just flips over on the top of our car, totally squishing us.  as traffic stops behind the accident there are people looting the truck, fighting over x-box 360's and laptops.

but thankfully none of that happened and we made it home!

do you know the legend?

coming soon, exclusively for KP readers from all over the world, a website dedicated to a true legend.  even this website will be legendary, a phenomenon like none before.

coming soon.......

Guild Wars

I finally took the plunge and bought guild wars today. me and onree have been running around together for a while, and my elementalist/ranger has made it up to level 4. So far my experience from the game has been great! here is me an onree dancing on a mountain. I'm the one with the long dark hair.

can you tell who they are

this is kinda neat, its a text picture, can you tell who it is?

world cup

so the world cup qualifying is over and here are the teams that made it.  the bolded teams are my picks for the 8 top seeds.  after the draw i'll have my total predictions for the entire tournament, hopefully with the USA on top!

• Angola
• Argentina
• Australia
• Brazil
• Costa Rica
• Croatia
• Czech Republic
• Ecuador
• England
• France
• Germany
• Ghana
• Iran
• Italy
• Ivory Coast
• Japan
• Mexico
• Netherlands
• Paraguay
• Poland
• Portugal
• Saudi Arabia
• Serbia & Montenegro
• Spain
• South Korea
• Sweden
• Switzerland
• Togo
• Trininad & Tobago
• Tunisia
• Ukraine
• United States

i have a new term

read the article

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20051118/od_nm/odd_words_dc

whatever it sounds like, doesn't it mean the same shit?  people really should have better shit to worry about.

speaking of dumb ass, i'm watching what must be celebrity weakest link.  That crazy bitch asked vince neal what continent the country of senegal was on, his answer: "India".  Shelia E answered cheeta when asked what pit viper was named for its noise making tail.  Coolio was statistically the strongest link, and sebastian bach was busy hitting on the young blonde next to him.

if it were up to me, i'd re-name the show "Dumbest muther fucker", because they shouldn't make fun of "weak" people.

coolio and sebastian bach are surprisingly good at this game.  vince neal and debbie gibson are pretty bad.  i don't know who the other chic is, but she ain't that great either.

This should make Thune's day!

http://sports.yahoo.com/sow/news?slug=ap-fifa-turkey&prov=ap&type=lgns

You missed out if you didn't get to see this.

great feeling

great feeling:  waking up and immediately thinking its time to get up and get ready for work, only to look at the clock to see you can sleep for 4 more hours!

terrible feeling:  waking up and thinking you must have about 4 more hours to sleep to then look at the clock and realize that its about the time that you need to get up.

this morning: terrible.

what not to buy

here's an article about what NOT to buy, take special note of the STORAGE section.

http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,1895,1887044,00.asp

christmas gifts

read this article and you'll know what i want for christmas.  actually you only have to read the title and maybe the first paragraph or so....

http://www.breitbart.com/news/2005/11/15/051115184633.jxl2j9oj.html

The Devil's Rejects

I just watched The Devil's Rejects tonite. Here is my official review:

1. The song Free Bird will never be the same

2. I hope Rob Zombie makes more movies

riding bike in the snow

i think i mentioned that i bought an exercise bike last week, i've been riding every day (weekend excluded of course).  Today I went 10.61 miles in 30 minutes, my furthest distance yet!  during my ride as i really started sweating i started to think my sweat was smelling like chilli.  shit thats kinda gross that my sweat smells like chilli.  afterwards i learned that it was actually Jill cooking some type of caserole thing upstairs.  I'm glad i don't smell like cooking hamburger and onions when i sweat.  but maybe if it was just onions.....

oh yeah, and it snowed today, i'm fuckin pissed.

working

some days i really hate my job.  today is one of those days so far.  would anyone out there like to trade jobs for a week?

some days i really like my job.  today is NOT of of those days so far.  would anyone out there like to trade jobs for a week?

this will piss you off

I was watching ESPN last nite and saw something amazing.  Aparently the University of Iowa's visiting locker room in the football stadium is painted pink.  Ok, thats kinda funny!  The coach who did this in the first place was a psychology professor there (in the 70's or 80's i don't remember).  The idea is that it will throw their opponents off their game a little bit, and the stats show that they have a higher winning percentage during the time this locker room was pink!  well done Iowa.

Then they talked to some people who were mad about the pink locker room.  It wasn't any of the visiting teams who had to use the pink room.  All the Ohio State football players they interviewed kinda laughed about it and said yeah, thats a good idea.  The people who were actually upset about this were some guy (wearing a pink shirt AND tie) that was the leader of some gay rights group or something, and also a women affiliated with the National Organization of/for? Women.  They claimed the pink was supposed to represent a girlie color and that to play like a girl was a bad thing.  I hate to be the one to break this to everyone (and some will hate me for this), but playing college football like a girl would be a pretty bad thing.  Its a fact, men and women are physically different (last time i checked).  If they weren't, we'd all be hanging out with the guy in the pink shirt, and no one wants that.

I'm all for equal rights between sexes, religions, races, sexual preferences and ages.  But that fact that a mens football team is going to beat a women's football team does not mean that men and women don't have equal rights, they are just physically different.  Its not a good reason to get upset about the color of a locker room.  Aren't there more important things to worry about?

lets play some freakin poker!

so the online poker thing that i'm sure you've all read about here has been going on for 3 weeks now.

we had our biggest game earlier tonite, with a whopping 7 players.  but we need more.  come on, i know more of you are interested.

check out the website at http://nakedpoker.us

it must have been that sweet perm

The Galaxy won the MLS championship today in OT vs the New England Revolution 1-0. It was an exciting OT, except for the fact that the revolution didn't win.

the mini linspire pc

i want one!

watching the tomBlog!

that guy is really fuckin funny

happy V day

So its now just past 8am here and i'm sitting in an empty office.  i'm all by myself.  i'm never the only one here even at 7:30 in the morn.  by 8am there are usually at least 3 others here, so i'm thinking i had the day off.  oh well, i guess i'll work till lunch and then take off since i do have a lot to do.....

Linux!

I'm a wimp, I've wanted to get rid of my of my windows powered computers and run some sort of Linux for a while, but for some reason I just haven't yet.  Well I do have it on one machine, but thats used as a webserver, so I'm rarely on it.  So I came across an article about Linux Live CD's and one of my new favorite websites (http://digg.com).  I've used several different Linux Live CD's before, but will probably check out this Linspire one sometime.  Its kinda fun to get online and do something without having to use windows, check out the article, and then check out linux.  To get back to windows all you have to do is remove the disc and re-boot your computer.

http://www.help2go.com/article241.html

set the mark too high

I got an exercise bike today, and took it out for a ride tonite.  Its kinda fancy, its got different patterns of resistance you can go thru.  So I decided i'd ride for 30 minutes each nite.  I just started on the first program, on the lowest resistance setting.  It started out decently easy and built it up half way thru my ride.  my legs were burning at 15 minutes, but i was able to keep going pretty good.  I ended the 30 minutes at 9.93 miles.  I think that'll be hard to beat, but I will.  I also discovered Korn is good biking music.  when i had celeine dion playin, i just wasn't motived.  not only was i not motivated to keep pedeling, listening to that made me want to stop breating!

better than floppy disks

350 X the storage
about the same price as a floppy drive kit



EDITED: I post this here only because someone is looking for a computer, but wants to add a floppy drive. I don't think ANY new computers still come with a floppy drive??????

things i wish i had thought of

here's something i came across today that definetly falls into the category of things i really wish i had thought of:

http://oneredpaperclip.blogspot.com/

fighting to stay awake

someone tell (email or post comment) me a freakin joke or at least an interesting story.....  dammit.

new record!

and just to waste some time while installing win2000 on an old computer....



and...

thats amazing!

John Kerry's newsletter goes to shannon and to me (and many others i'd be willing to bet). The amazing part is that shannon gets it, forwards it to me, then 2 minutes later i get it from John Kerry. That pretty quick forwarding shannon!



okay, i know john kerry's newsletter probably goes to a few more people than the KP weekly does and it probably takes quite a while to send all of them, so this isn't really amazing, but if a person didn't know any better.....

grid game

now here's a fun game. you try to create a chain reaction. its pretty simple to play, but not real easy to master, i guess its just kinda the luck of the draw, or the click in this case. notice my score, not too shabby, see if you can beat it (take your own screen shot and display it somehwere?, post your high scores here?). click on the image to go to the game.

buy a bike?

anyone got a stationary bike for sale?

i feel so freakishly lazy i figured i could use a stationary bike rather than the couch to use in front of the tv here.

if no one has a cheap one for sale, i've added this one below to my wishlist, it looks very neat....

FargoBar.com

help smear this crappy website around fargo/moorhead for me. its the last time i'm ever gonna do anything with this craphole.

http://fargobar.com

does no one else want a freakin PSP?

i got one more freaking referral to fill, i got 9 dvd's full of music just ready to be shipped out to that person.

here is my wishlist:

one person referral for the PSP (http://psps.freepay.com/?r=15326684)

an x-box

world violence (probably because i listen to nine inch nails and the insane clown posse)